Août 6 2020
the late show with stephen colbert summer breaktamoxifen und alkohol
the novel idea was... can we put a farm in the heart of the city and really put food directly accessible to the people that were eating it. and now netflix included. >> jon: yes. it would be like if your phone, instead of ringing just went riii... was that the phone? can you tell me what's happening? >> it was the toledo zoo. what's the damage? "the snowman killer". >> stephen: you weren't working? >> jon: "a pilgrimage to nonviolence ." you could see some of the animals. >> that could be. ♪ ♪ and that's why target has partnered with the nonprofit greensgrow in philadelphia. i mean, the animals can't leave, you won't tell anybody, right? tonight: obtuse of power. he's running for president of the united states! >> stephen: as a child, did you understand what that joke was about? it's material. >> do they think, like, a bull's going to throw a rider and be like-- was that a clown? >> that's comedy. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: did you do anything to celebrate? polish it up a little. but that's way too intimate. >> stephen: was there somebody >> stephen: so that joke we heard you say in the-- in the lead-in, when i was announcing you, you didn't get paid for that joke? the snowman. secretary and lawyer who only takes indecent exposure cases, steve mnuchin, asked to use a $25,000-per-hour government jet for his honeymoon. i realized it would bother me, and i don't think i could. and everyone's celebrating! >> stephen: no, last january, you said no. tell your doctor about all planned medical or dental procedures. >> you know, it came out on life's as big as you make it. >> stephen: how about helloooo! almost. ♪ your mighty, mighty tiger. with available pedestrian monitoring.
health care, pre-existing conditions. >> stephen: there's nothing wrong with brain damage. let's give the keebler elves the launch codes. please welcome tom steyer! calling that crazy was dismissive, and i regret it."
helen: cool. it's normally split between working people and employers. >> stephen: over the weekend, house impeachment managers filed a 111-page brief outlining the president's abuse of power and obstruction of congress. ( laughter ) so, under public pressure, last week, "facebook agreed to turn over the russian-linked ads to congress." >> yeah. okay." >> stephen: that's a good one. i hope that helps you understand what it had come to that i would step my family back from all i've ever known, to take a step forward into what i hope can be a more peaceful life.
( organ music playing ) forgive me, audience. i was trying-- trying to be a comedian. hogwarts, or humpty dumpty, or benedict cumberbatch. you're right. and if they tried to leave, they'd shoot them, but-- ( laughter ) but it was outside the toledo zoo. why are you hurting me like this? see? thank you for having me. it may be dangerous. >> not now. did good, you did good. i mean, it's about taxes. and you say okay, bye," click and it's over. the fastest is most likely to be a serial killer. charmin ultra soft is softer than ever, so it's harder to resist. jerry seinfeld, everybody! >> stephen: so am i. and sometimes i say backstage, "so what do you want to do?" >> okay, that's easy. but the ultimate insult against trump's defense brief is the allegation that it is "so weak he likely dictated parts himself." candidates, gone but not forgotten. that is a very interesting compliment to yourself, you just made. right? >> stephen: (as trump) "come on, admit it. ask your doctor if switching to eliquis is right for you. >> stephen: "it's not good for me.
>> you never do that at home. no, history channel starts at history. >> stephen: have your kids seen this one? >> stephen: the thing about the phone we have established a ritual when you go. jim? ♪ t-mobile's unlimited now includes netflix on us. only at starbucks. dilly, dilly! if you don't pay any taxes, your company becomes a lot more valuable. >> stephen: but we're also exactly one year away from the inauguration of our next president. >> stephen: how long had you been nurturing?
that statement did not age well, but then again, neither did alan dershowitz. captioning sponsored by cbs >> you've seen the powerful ken burns documentary "the vietnam war." yes, "break glass." i have taught tens of students who've gone on to perform as lawyers on fox news and other shows on fox news.
biktarvy is a complete, one-pill, once-a-day treatment used for h-i-v in certain adults. extra lover. >> stephen: uh-huh... >> you have a pre-exist-- before this disease even existed, you had it. i'm pretty sure if you voted for jill stein, they gave you an "i wasted my vote" sticker. earlier this summer, treasury
>> i don't know if he could teach it, but he was a great joke teller. but why the one tie? and if you look at what it meant for corporations-- it was the biggest giveaway ever for people in big corporations.
i think it's very important for us to come outside of target and really be inside of peoples' communities, as well. look, we have a really low unemployment rate, but people can't lives on the jobs they have. it's google home mini... ...and the rest of the google home family. it's a matter of what does america stand for? please welcome back to "the late show," our friend jim gaffigan! you never see somebody go, "you know what.
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